Two weeks ago today, a close friend of mine took his own life.
He had been suffering from depression his whole adult life, but no one knew. Not even those closest to him.
In the end, the degree to which he hated himself won out over all the other things that were keeping him here on earth with us. This seems to be a common denominator in those who suffer from depression, and certainly in those who go on to take their own life.
They hate themselves.
And when you hate yourself, you simply do not believe that other people love you.
If you have no love for yourself, and do not believe that others love you, then where is your anchor when the sea of life gets rough? You have none.
I now know two people who have committed suicide and another two who have tried. When I quizzed the two who tried unsuccessfully about “Why would you do this” and “How could you leave behind all those who love you” the reply was the same both times.
They said they weren’t thinking about the people who love them. They said they were thinking only about themselves. How much they hated themselves. And how the world was a better place without them in it.
Which brings me to something Joleen posted on The Smile Collective wall a couple weeks ago:
“Be happy for no reason, like a child.
If you are happy for a reason, you’re in trouble,
because that reason can be taken from you.”
To me, there is only one ‘reason for happiness’ that cannot be taken from you. And that is unconditional love for yourself. If you have this, you can survive anything. Loss of your job, your home, your possessions. Because these things do not define you.
But if you don’t have this, then all the love in the world, all the possessions and accolades in the world might not be enough to hold you here when things get tough.
Just like they weren’t enough to keep my friend here.
This is why I believe that the unconditional love of YOURSELF is the greatest gift you can give to those who love you.
What do you think?